Community Grief Ritual: Friday-Sunday 10/11-10/13

This gathering is about sharing what is true for you, whether it’s tears, anger, numbness or fear.

It‘s about authenticity and connection.

There’s no expectation that you express your grief in any specific way. It’s not designed to “fix or process” you.

We’re hear to listen and express gratitude and share your feelings and experience.

This isn’t a depressing event, it’s a joyful, life affirming one.

All of you is welcome.

Over 3 days you’ll:

• share, witness, and honor our grief and our joy.

• be invited to speak and listen from the heart.

• connect to the natural world, other people, and with yourself.

• share in simple rituals that honor the fullness and wholeness of life.

Why Choose to Grieve?

"Grief has always been communal, always been shared and consequently has traditionally been regarded as a sacred process.

Too often in modern times our grief becomes private, carrying an invisible mantle of shame forcing our sorrow underground, hidden from the eyes that would offer healing.

We must restore the conversation we need to have concerning the place of grief in our lives. Each of us must undertake an apprenticeship with loss."

-Francis Weller

In these times we often don’t have access to a healthy communal space to express grief and sorrow.

We’re taught that grief is something to be done only in extreme circumstances, and if grief is expressed, it should be done quickly and privately.

This leads us to carry the burden of unprocessed and unwitnessed grief throughout our lives.

When we don’t allow grief to move we’re left feeling heavy-hearted and alone.

This can lead to numbing grief with distraction, addiction, or isolation.

It also numbs us from the joy, wonder, and beauty that life has to offer.

When we choose to grieve:

• We choose to feel both the joy and sorrow of life.

• We choose the shared connection that each of us hold.

• We choose to not be alone.

• We choose to belong.

• We choose to live fully.
  

What Are We Grieving?

"To not be able to grieve is a terrible source of grief in itself”

- Martin Prechtel

Grief can show up in different ways throughout our lives.

Francis Weller in his book "The Wild Edge of Sorrow" writes about the 5 Gates of Grief:

First Gate: Everything we love we will lose.

Personal loss of loved ones, relationships, careers, loss of health.

Here we are initiated into the medicine of vulnerability.

Second Gate: The Places that have not known love.

Parts of us that have been shamed, not allowed, or harshly judged.

Here we are initiated into the medicine of compassion.

Third Gate: The Sorrows of the World.

Climate change, poverty, war and the collective pain of humanity.

Here we are initiated into the medicine of entanglement.

Fourth Gate: What you expected and did not receive.
Things we don’t realize we’ve lost, because we weren’t born into a village with full joyous welcome of our gifts.

Here we are initiated into the medicine of belonging.

Fifth Gate: Ancestral Grief
Unacknowledged and untended sorrow of those who came before us.

Here we are initiated into the medicine of wisdom.

Grief Retreat Details

• Space is limited to 25 people

• We will be gathering at the White Clover Grange in Nehalem. A historic building with bathroom and kitchen facilities as well as a large hall to gather. (You’ll be given directions and more details on the weekend once you’re registered)

• Gathering begins on Friday around 3pm and final farewells end by 3pm on Sunday (there's flexibility for those who need to leave or arrive later)

• Cost for the Retreat is $350 and includes meals (Fri eve- Sun morn)
  Please reach out directly if you're in need of a sliding scale/scholarship.

• Rough Schedule for Weekend Below:

Friday: Gathering begins 4-5pm

Entering and Reentering the sacred circle/ritual space

Welcoming: Songs and Land Acknowledgment

Dinner 1 hour (connect with each other, wash your own dishes)

Calling in Ancestors and Directions

First Share Circle (Your truth is your medicine) 

8pm Closing First Night

Saturday

7:30am Movement: stretching and gentle movement, morning song

8am Breakfast

9am Morning Circle

10:30am 5 Gates of Grief Intro and group share

Noon Lunch

1:15pm Francis Weller and the 5 Gates of Grief work

3:45pm Building the Ritual Space

5pm Dinner 

6pm Grief Ritual 

9pm End for evening

Sunday

8am movement and gratitude circle

8:30am Light breakfast 

9am Harvest Circle 

10:30 Grief Ritual

12:30pm Final Meal

12:45pm Final sharing circle 

2pm Bless the land and give thanks

3pm Goodbyes

Who Are The Guides?

Joshua Lowe is a licensed therapist, public educator, musician, and nature-oriented rites of passage and grief ceremony guide.

http://www.joshualowetherapy.com

He brings 20+ years experience supporting others in transformational journeying and has supported teens and adults in various communities including high school, men’s groups, nature, prisons, and in the therapy office.

Joshua has been mentored in leading grief rituals by Therese Charvet and Laurence Cole who are carriers of the grief rituals taught by Sobonfu Some and Malidoma Some.

He brings a deep reverence for the power of grief ritual as a healing force and is humbled by the opportunity to support others in deepening their relationship to self and community through honoring and expressing grief and joy.

Community leadership and guidance by the NeahKahNie Grief Collective:

Local elder, ecologist and herbalist : Vivi Tallman

Artist and Animal Death Doula: Bryonie Arnold

Ritual guide, artist and channel: Aislinn Kerchaert

Mindset coach, retreat facilitator: Ginger Edwards.

Recommended Resources to Explore

• The Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller

• Embracing Grief by Sobonfu Some

• The Smell of Rain on Dust by Martin Prechtel

• Ritual: Power, Healing and Community by Malidoma Some

• Soul Craft by Bill Plotkin

• The Way of Council by Gigi Coyle & Jack Zimmerman